Teacher-student relationships – how to make right decisions

Anna Perez stayed after school every single day, she didn’t need the extra help, but she preferred the old drafty school building to her over crowded one bedroom apartment. If she wanted to stay, her teacher would stay with her. She was never late to school, always there on time for breakfast, and never late for lunch. If she was hungry, her teacher would share. She came to school all winter without a winter coat. After months of trudging through the snow freezing, her teacher bought her a jacket. Like many teachers, if a student needs help, this teacher would offer what she could to help—but did she cross a line in doing so?

Teacher-student relationships have evolved greatly over the past century, leaving a vast grey area between what is and what is not appropriate. Many times, one thinks they are making the right decision, or simply not doing anything wrong, and they are found guilty of a fault, sometimes putting their careers and reputation in jeopardy. Many relationships are obviously inappropriate. Birdie Smith reports, “Sexual relationships, sexual innuendo and improper touching” are considered inappropriate behaviors. However, some schools also consider “electronic communication between teachers and students - such as text messaging, chat rooms, emails and phone calls,” in violation of contract, and even, “Holding conversations of a personal nature with a student or students without a valid context” (Smith, 2007).

In the so called information age it is not uncommon for a teacher to set up a class blog, offer a homework helpline and chat section, or even give out their phone number as a means of communication. Inappropriate teacher-student relationships may be unlikely, but rigid contracts and grey areas like the ones mentioned above are preventing extra help for students, and teacher willingness to help. Thinking back to Anna Perez, it is quite possible that Anna shared personal information with her teacher, all students do. Is that so wrong?

“I maintained very good relations with my students. I carefully prepared my lectures and tried to give students as much as I possibly could offer. I tried hard to create an atmosphere in my classroom that would encourage my students to engage each other in discussion, which, I believe, is beneficial for both teachers and students. We were friends after class,” says a former teacher and author of the article, “Student Teacher Bonds in the Modern Era.” Many believe that a healthy and appropriate student-teacher relationship strengthens an educator’s ability to teach and a student’s ability to learn.

In addition to the educational aspect of this debate, what about a teachers responsibility to a student? Teaching in an urban area we are faced with the challenge of seeing poor, abused, neglected children on a daily basis. Teachers aren’t going into this career with the intent of saving everyone, but there is no doubt in my mind that if I can help I will. I have a responsibility to myself to behave in a manner that is both moral and legal; I also have a responsibility to my student to ensure their safety while under my care. If this involves being a listening ear, or even giving out my phone number as an emergency contact, I am going to do so, but I don’t want to risk losing my job because of it, leaving me to question what is more important?

In the end, only you can decide. There are several factors one must consult, first being your school and its policy on what is and what is not appropriate (if available). You must also refer to your contract, your district, state guidelines, national guidelines, and any other legal documentation that may be explicit and specific in what you may and may not do. Most importantly, you have to make the decision on how involved you want to be in your students lives, and when your involvement is needed. Finally, you should never engage in any activities that fall in that grey area without involving other members of your school staff, for instance, if you are chatting with students online in a homework help area, make sure you are using a school based program. If you have given your phone number out to a student, make sure your principal and school social worker is aware of your reasoning for doing this. You can be helpful and careful at the same time; you just have to find the right balance.


References
Johnson, J.A., Musial, D., Hall, G.E., & Gollnick, D.M. (2008). Foundations of American education: Perspectives on education in a changing world. Pearson Education Inc: Boston, MA.

Smith, B (2007, 07, 03). Teacher code tackles student relationships. The Age , Retrieved July 27, 2008, from http://www.lexisnexis.com.avoserv.library.fordham.edu/us/lnacademic/results/docview

Student-Teacher bonds in the modern era. (2008, 01, 12). China Daily